You might not even be aware of the long-term effects of having strict parents when you were growing up. You see when your parents manage their household well, some patterns and behaviors get so embedded that you frequently take them into adulthood without realizing it.
In this essay, we’ll explore those unintentional behaviors that result from a strict upbringing. These are the subliminal indicators that your upbringing under your parents’ rigorous restrictions still has an impact on you, from how you resolve conflict to how you regard authority.
Keep an eye out because you could be surprised by some of these.
1) Excessive Preparation
Do you recall instances when your parents insisted that you review your work twice or even three times? You may still be stuck with that habit.
This frequently manifests in adulthood as an inclination to overplan. Whether it’s a trip, an important meeting, or just a laid-back meal with friends, you constantly find yourself organizing and getting ready for the worst-case scenario.
Although being prepared for anything might be helpful at times (who wouldn’t?), it can also cause unneeded stress. It’s acceptable to welcome the unexpected and let go a little.
Finding a balance between being too nervous and prepared requires first realizing this propensity. Recall that not every situation in life requires a plan B, C, or D.
2) Overcompensating
Something about me has come to light that, until lately, I never fully connected to my background.
I’m sorry, really sorry, for things that don’t even belong to me.
A friend gets stuck in traffic and arrives late? I apologize.
I run into someone in the store. I’m the one apologizing once more.
I discovered that my penchant for over-apologizing had its roots in my rigid upbringing. I was frequently made to take responsibility for things as a child to preserve my strict discipline.
What was the outcome? An adult who apologizes and accepts blame too quickly.
I am making a conscious effort to quit this practice now that apologizing might lessen its impact.
Although it’s still a work in progress, acknowledging is a crucial first step.
If you recognize yourself in this, realize that you can save your regrets for the times when you truly deserve them.
3) Having Trouble Being Spontaneous
Living under rigorous restrictions and following a routine is often the result of having strict parents.
Every moment of the day is scheduled and regimented, including dinner, schoolwork, and leisure.
It may be difficult for you to deal with spontaneity as an adult because of your upbringing.
Studies have indicated that kids raised in overly regimented environments could eventually struggle to cope with unforeseen circumstances or shifts in their lives.
Thus, if you find it difficult to make last-minute changes, always require a plan, or worry about unexpected things happening. It may still be a result of your rigid upbringing.
Accepting a little uncertainty can provide some exciting and novel situations, so it’s sometimes a good thing.
4) Seeking Endorsement
It’s normal to try to live up to the high standards your parents set. However, this might develop into a never-ending craving for acceptance, which you might unknowingly carry into adulthood.
You may discover that you put in a lot of extra effort to satisfy your partner, labor nonstop to appease your boss, or even go above and beyond for pals. Being considerate is admirable, but it’s crucial to keep in mind that your value isn’t determined by what other people think of you.
The first step to releasing yourself from the need for continual affirmation is realizing this pattern. You don’t require validation from others to recognize your worth.
5) The Need for Perfection
In athletics, the classroom, or other extracurricular activities, strict parents frequently expect their kids to perform at the highest levels. This may give rise to perfectionism.
You may find yourself trying to perform at the highest level in all areas of your life, including your personal and professional relationships. This desire can result in significant accomplishments, but it can also cause unneeded stress and burnout.
It is critical to realize that making errors is normal and even necessary for personal development. Since perfection is unachievable, what matters most is the quest for ongoing improvement.
6) Difficulty Communicating Feelings
Having strict parents might restrict one’s ability to express emotions.
It’s the time-honored notion that “children should be seen and not heard.” This may make it harder for an adult to convey their feelings.
If your upbringing was in a home like this, you may find it challenging to communicate your emotions to other people. You could bottle things up until they explode, or you might minimize your feelings and brush them under the rug.
Please understand that feeling and expressing emotions is acceptable. After all, these are what define us as humans.
Telling others when you’re angry, hurt, or even pleased is acceptable. Sharing your feelings with others helps build closer, more meaningful relationships. Your sentiments are essential.
7) Face Difficulties with Self-care
I have a terrible habit of placing myself last that I find difficult to stop.
Frequently, I would prioritize the needs of others over my own and neglect my own. I could go an entire day without eating well or unwinding.
Years of this cycle didn’t let me comprehend that my rigorous upbringing was the source of it.
My perspective of self-care was distorted throughout my adult life since my parents valued achievement and discipline more than self-care.
If you find yourself in this situation, it’s time to start making self-care a priority. It’s necessary, not self-serving.
Recall that an empty cup cannot be used to pour. It’s acceptable to look for yourself.
8) Severe Anxiety
Anxiety levels can rise when one lives with stringent regulations and high standards.
This can show up in a number of ways, such as a persistent dread of making mistakes or a crippling fear of failing.
You can battle with feeling constantly tense for no apparent reason, or you might find yourself second-guessing even the tiniest decisions. This anxiety is frequently a result of the fear that a strict upbringing created in them.
Taking recognition of this is the first step in controlling the anxiety.
It’s acceptable not to be flawless. Practice relaxing techniques, ask for assistance when necessary, and be positive.
9) A Strong Feeling of Accountability
A strong sense of responsibility is one element that sets those of us who grew up with strict parents apart. Being held responsible for our behaviors from an early age has made us trustworthy and dependable adults.
Although this is a good quality, it can occasionally get too much.
It’s critical to keep in mind that you are not in charge of everything and that asking for assistance is OK. We’re only human, after all, and we’re trying our most challenging.
Conclusion
Our upbringing has a significant influence on our adult lives. Strict parenting instills attitudes and behaviors in us that don’t just go away as we get older; they become an integral part of who we are.
It’s essential to keep in mind, though, that these characteristics are sometimes good. Although they can provide difficulties, they also help us become resilient, accountable, and disciplined people.
One of the most critical steps in personal development is realizing how our upbringing and our current conduct are related. It enables us to break any harmful patterns and strengthen the ones that are beneficial to us.
You are who you are now because of your upbringing from rigorous parents; accept this, take what you can from it, and never forget that we are all still learning. The process of evolving via self-discovery and development never ends. And that is the wonder of humanity.
