It was always on our plans to have two kids. And we knew that our lives would change a lot. But to say the truth, we were quite taken aback by how different life with two children could be. And how we might need new parenting strategies the second time around! So I am sharing my experiences of how being a mom of one child vs two could be.
Also, as we live in a different country, my family and friends in India were worried about how we will manage with two kids on our own. The newborn stage was extremely tough, but as my younger one is 15 months now, life has got easier. Now both my kids play together, and that gives me some free time. I am learning new things every day, and my experience is limited. Still, I feel you might find this article useful if you are thinking about having two kids.
How did life change with two kids?
Time Just Flies
I thought I had no time until I had my second. I remember just sailing through the first few months. My younger one had an erratic sleep routine in the first three months. So some nights, she would go to sleep early and be up by 2 am, and other days would stay awake till 2-3 am and go to sleep after that. After three months, the routine got better. So, handling the daily routine of two kids hardly leaves you with any time. However, with time I have figured out how to organize my day. And because both of them have set into a routine now, 24 hours feels like enough now.
Still, the extra time I had when I only had my elder one is gone. I could scrub my kitchen better or drink a cup of coffee in peace. But that is long gone now, and I do not know when to expect that again. It is task after task till they both go to sleep.
No Energy
I looked like a zombie, and I felt like one just after I had my second one. Now I am faring better though I still do feel like all my energy has vanished. Somedays, I wake up tired to even survive the day. So, as soon as I had a second one, I felt like I suddenly aged. I love to workout and try to do it daily, but it leaves me exhausted now. Maybe it will get better as my children grow up and I get more time for myself. But the most change I saw in my life after a second child was my energy level.
I followed the rule of sleeping when your baby does with my elder one. And I did feel rested and was more relaxed. But after you have two, you will put the younger one to sleep so that you can spend some time with the older one. Or there is always something that is needed to be done. So, you do not have any other option than to complete the pending work which is impossible to get done when the younger one is awake.
Multitasking is My New Best Friend
I have always been a multitasker in some way. And now I have turned into an expert one. No, I am not kidding! There is not a single moment when I am not multitasking. I cook and reply to my emails at the same time. Teach my elder one and read to my younger one simultaneously. Drink my coffee while cleaning up the house! The list is endless. Sometimes I end up doing 3-4 things at the same time. And that is the only way how things get done around the house mostly.
Life with two kids will train you to be a multitasker while also teaching you to be patient at the same time. I never thought I could manage so many things at once without panicking. But I am multitasking, and I feel I am doing that well.
Priorities Have Changed
In retrospect, priorities did change a lot when another child came into our lives. Throughout the day, taking care of their needs and getting our professional work done is at the top of our list. While the rest such as cleaning, scrubbing, or even visiting friends have gone down on our list. We are not as social as we were or would like to be. A few hours of downtime at home looks more enticing now than sitting for a glass of wine outside the house.
Also, because I want to make sure that the kids are also getting one-to-one time with me, the list of priorities has greatly changed. I had always been someone who feels suffocated in a messy house but now a clean house is a dream. It might stay clean but only till they get up in the morning or after they go to sleep!
Self-Care is Negligent
Yes, I know I need to take care of myself, and it is even more necessary now than ever. But self-care is another thing that goes down the priority list with two kids. Sometimes because I hardly have the time and sometimes because I am so exhausted, I cannot move from the couch. But I have realized that it is crucial for my health that I let my husband take care of them for even a little bit and indulge in some self-care. I do try my best to take care of myself but that is mostly once in a blue moon.
We all have different journeys and the smiles on our little ones’ faces are worth all the exhaustion in the world. We are learning each day to cope! To be better parents and we are getting there!
Do let us know in the comments about the challenges you faced as parents of multiple kids. We would so love to read about them!
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