Many step-parents have an unnerving time while trying to win over their step-kids. They have a delicate role to play as they enter into a challenging family situation. Bonding with step-children can be difficult as the kids may feel confused, annoyed or neglected. While forging relationships with your step-children, you may experience numerous challenges but you need to understand that kids respond to their anguish and emotions in different ways.
There might be occasions when you struggle to bond with each family member. Sometimes misplaced anger could hinder the development of a healthy relationship between a stepparent and child. At this time, step-children need empathy and kindness. With persistence patience and effort, it is possible for you to form a positive loving bond with your step-kid. In fact, you may be able to build up an extraordinary relationship with them.
Here are some of the steps that can facilitate your bonding with your step-children:
Share Their Interests
As a parent, you can get involved with your step-kid’s interest. You can share interest in his hobbies and enjoy doing what your kid like to do such as reading, art or music. For instance, if your child likes to play guitar, ask him how long he has been playing with it and what his favourite song is. You can play the song with him.
You may offer to help your kid with his homework while providing constant encouragement to him. Attend school performances or sports activities with your step-kid. These are small steps that could help you to nourish your ties with your child.
Try to Be A Friend
Initially, your kid may feel awkward to reveal his feelings to you. But as you try to be his friend, his attachment for you will grow.
You can always persuade him to ask questions about you. Try to make yourself available as much as you can. With patience, consistency and calmness, you may be able to form an excellent relationship with your step-kid.
Solo Outings with Your Kid
As you begin friendship with your step-child, you may plan some sort of solo outings with him. Solo quality time can do wonders for your bond. For instance, you may go to a beach and play some of his favourite sport game.
You may also go to an ice-cream parlour and have an ice-cream of his choice. You may spend an hour with him discussing about his friends and his favourite food. Your step-kid surely will feel elated to have these conversations with you.
Baking Cookies Together
You can try out some new recipes with your step-kid at home. Include your step-child in baking cakes or cookies of his choice. It may make your step-kid feel happy and secure.
As you spend some quality time with your kid, it may ensure that your child does not feel abandoned in the new, blended family. It may also help him to discover his own position in the family unit.
Provide Space To Your Kid And Biological Parent
You should give space to the kid and the biological parent. Encourage your step-child and the biological parent to spend some family time alone together at home or to go out for some outings. It can help the child to know that he is still important to his parent.
With your presence at home, your child will not feel threatened or pushed off. Your step-child will feel safe and start accepting you easily.
Create New Traditions And Memories
As you blend into the family, you can form new traditions to unite the family together. It can help to create an exciting family atmosphere at home.
For instance, you can go out for pizzas on Fridays, or make a visit to grandparents on weekends or have a family softball on Sundays or watch your kid’s favourite movie at home. They are some special moments that may help you to enhance the bond with your step-kid.
Explain Your Role In The Family
Your role as a stepmom is exceptional. You need to explain it to your step-kids that you are not competing with their mom. Be honest with the kids and remain clear to them that you are not a replacement.
Take time to sit and explain that you are a new addition to the family and that you are excited to build a friendly relationship with them. This conversation can help break the ice and solidify your bond.
Speak Respectfully Of Their Biological Parent
Children can have huge conflicting emotions. As they are going through a huge change, they can be suddenly angry or become aggressive frequently without warning. They may experience guilt and shame at the same time. These are intense feelings but it is necessary that you do not retaliate even if you are hurt.
You can assuage these feelings by always speaking respectfully about their biological parent. Make the kids realize that their biological parent always comes first even if the child enjoys a happy bond with you.
Always Be Kind To Them Like Your Own Biological Children
Your step-child may resent you and try to be unruly with you. There could be angry verbal exchanges with you. At such times, remain calm and refrain from taking things personally.
Probably, the kids in the family had fewer choices to make as the adults made decisions about their lives. So, assume some frustration from them. You can support them by loving the kids unconditionally and remaining kind to them always like your own biological children.
Sharing enthusiasm and trying to understand their emotions will go a long way in strengthening your bonding with step children. Show compassion to them and give some space to your kid.
Before long, you will be able to build a strong relationship with your step-kids. They will simply begin to love and adore you unconditionally!
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