Being a parent is a life-altering experience. Suddenly, overnight a paradigm shift happens when the baby finally arrives into the world, which no amount of preparation can suffice. Some take time to soak in the transition while others flow into it as a natural course of progression. No matter whichever category one belongs to, raising the child in the best possible way becomes the most pertinent question. In today’s world where we have a gamut of resources when it comes to good parenting skills be it books, the internet, support groups, etc, we tend to develop a framework on “How to be a good parent?” much before the child is born into the world. Often these frameworks do not yield the desired results. Every child is unique. Therefore, they require their own unique way of parenting for them to soar and thrive.
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5 Basic Good Parenting Skills
Time and again in the zest of becoming a good parent we tend to either overplay or underplay our role as a parent. In both cases, we undermine the effect of our behavior on the psychology of the child and the repercussions it ensues. Here are a few thumb rules that can guide us towards developing effective and good parenting skills.
1. Children learn from what they see
As parents, the child spends most of their time with us. Hence we become their earliest channels of looking at the world. What we do and how we behave is what they are going to learn and any amount of teaching otherwise would be futile. Therefore it becomes all the more important to try and become the best version of ourselves. This paves the right direction for the child to grow. The basic founding principle is clear and simple which is ‘Practise what you preach’.
2. Overindulgent vs. over-controlling parenting
In both the scenario where the parents are either overindulgent or over-controlling, the child is at the suffering end. Every parent feels their child to be the special one and loving them is inevitable just like breathing. But there is a thin line between loving and indulging the child. Overindulging the child will only spoil them and create adjustment issues which eventually will alienate her/him.
Likewise over-controlling the child has got its own set of shortcomings. Parents who hover over their child’s every move or restrict them frequently affect the child’s ability to decide for themselves in the long run. They become dependent and their self-esteem goes for a toss. In both types of parenting, the child becomes socially estranged and tends to face severe adjustment problems in the future. Hence, as parents, we need to strike a balance of neither going overboard with our love nor becoming over strict with our child. It is a tightrope walk for the parents to decide their take on it.
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3. Disciplining a child
Setting rules and disciplining the child is an essential part of raising a child. But as a new parent, at times we tend to lose temper considering everything that we are dealing with right from our jobs to our homes. However, it is necessary for us to realize that it is more favorable to provide the child with compassionate and reasonable corrections. This will help make them understand what is right and what is wrong rather than snapping at them or becoming an autocratic disciplinarian. Patience is the key here that can aid us to discipline our child. As children grow up, they tend to defy restrictions often, and hence it is only through gentle but firm actions that the child can be disciplined.
4. Fostering a child’s independence
The ultimate aim of a parent is to raise a child who is independent and capable of leading a fruitful life in the long run. But as a parent, we tend to micromanage every aspect of our child’s routine and in the process become a helicopter parent. Hence at times, it is essential to let the child be, take a back seat, and become a passive spectator. By doing so, we foster a sense of independence in our child and boost her/his self-confidence.
Again, many a time we tend to restrain the activities of the child fearing the mess it would create and deprive her/him of the opportunity to learn on their own. For instance, when the child wants to eat the food themselves we tend to refuse thinking about the food spillage that will follow and the effort that would go into cleaning the place. As parents, we need to loosen up a bit and stop worrying about trivial things. We need to realize how important it is to give the child a conducive environment to ensure his optimum development in all aspects.
5. Need for positive parenting
In today’s difficult times, as the child grows up, she/he gets exposed to an environment that is fiercely competitive and often unfair. In such a scenario it is only through positive parenting techniques and effective communication throughout their growing years that the child can be prepared to face the world head-on. But, how do you develop positive parenting skills? Communication is the key. To mastering positive parenting skills you need to work on effective communication with your kid. Encouraging the child to positively reinforce their self-confidence and build her/his mental strength. Drawing comparisons with the achievements of other children, pushing the child to do things they are not comfortable in are certain mistakes that we as parents tend to make in our bid to prove the mettle of our child to the world.
As parents, it is for us to understand that each child is born with their inherent potential which is unique, and hence we should not try to make them clones of each other.
Conclusion
Finally, it is for each of us to realize that parenting is a journey – to each his own. It is a journey of self-discovery and witnessing the beauty of the miracle that we created. The list mentioned above is not exhaustive. The purpose of this list is just to provide the new parents a few leads towards acquiring good parenting skills. Hope this will help new parents get a better insight into the realm of parenting. If there are other points you would like to bring to our notice, then write to us in the comments below.
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