Childhood is that phase of life where the hues of the rainbow are spread across a wider spectrum. It is such a beautiful phase that its memories, as far as one can remember, are cherished and treasured forever. A happy childhood is possibly the best gift a parent can give to his or her child. The best gift, because it lays the foundation for the years of upbringing and nourishment later on.
The foundation set at that phase moulds the child and his or her character as he grows up. What is offered is absorbed plain and raw at that stage. Hence care needs to be taken as to what is offered. And that responsibility rests with the parents.
With the current fast-paced lifestyle where both the parents work in a nuclear home setup, it is important to take time out to spend on the child. That’s the first step towards giving a child, happy childhood.
This article briefs some perspectives and thoughts on how a parent can give a happy childhood to their child, without spoiling them.
Keep a Check on Screen-time
Gadgets can easily spoil a child. With every adult in the family making a lunge for the mobile whenever possible, the child is as quick enough to imitate it. Until one year of age, no child shall be exposed to any screen – mobile, laptop, television or any gadget, for that matter. After the child turns one, screen-times can be limited to video calls through a mobile phone. After two years of age is when the child can be allowed to watch a television screen for a limited period of time in a day under adult supervision.
Mobiles need to be a strict no-no as it hampers eye health during the developing years. Moreover, there is a lot of research that reinstates the fact that the brain structure and functions get impaired due to too much exposure to screens, especially mobile, for a kid less than five years. It can also lead to insomnia, mood swings, and obesity. The first five years are the formative years where the essential growth and development takes place.
If you wish to give your child happy childhood, firstly, cut down on the screen time of your child as much as possible and spend your time with them instead.
Teach Them Manners
Toddlers are naturally self-centered and egoistic. Teaching a child to say thank you and sorry from a young age is a great way to stop the child from getting spoilt. Once these manners are instilled, they tend to ask politely for what they want rather than demanding. Also, making them say thank you is very essential in inculcating gratitude and respect in them.
Like a good old maxim that says, ‘Charity begins at home’, teach the quality of sharing and caring. Make them realize the happiness that comes along with it.
Make them Focus on Positives
Try to make gratitude a habit. Make them focus on life’s positive experiences that build happiness. For example, ask them how they felt when they helped someone at school or at home. Let them explain the incident and what they went through. Making them talk about positive experiences helps them to feel happy and fulfilled.
Learn to Listen to Them
Only when a parent takes an effort to listen to his or her child, will the child listen to the adult. Get down to his level and make sure you listen to what he says. Try to understand his observations about the world and respond to them. Don’t be opinionated and thrust your thoughts instead. Be a good listener first and then give feedback if necessary.
In this way, the kid feels seen and included. This goes a long way in building a great parent-child relationship into the future too. It has been proved that a happy childhood can form a solid base for the future.
Hug Often
Hugging a child is an absolute win-win. As much as the child feels secure and loved, the parent feels relaxed and loved too, probably more than the child himself. It is the best gift you can give a child and more wonderful when you get it from your child. A parent’s touch is very much necessary for a child to feel safe and protected under his or her care. It also helps developing trust.
Let Them Play Outdoors
Outdoor play is as good for mental health as it is for physical health. The kid tends to meet many new faces. They learn to share, care and be kind. They learn to build relationships. And they also learn to self-regulate their emotions among new people.
Involve Them in Daily Activities
Encourage the Little Ones to Help Around at Home. Not only does it imbibe good manners, but also it helps build kindness as a quality. It can be as small as assorting the vegetables in a tray or the utensils in the kitchen or arranging their own toys. Make it fun and encourage with lots of praise. It keeps them engaged and a ‘thank you’ from your end gives them a sense of responsibility and accomplishment. The kids won’t take long to imitate those good manners.
They do learn a lot by seeing their parents and imitating the same, don’t they?
Encourage Efforts as Well as the Outcome
As clearly as it states, it is better for the parent to not be too result-oriented. In such a competitive world, it is natural to push the child beyond his or her capabilities to outshine others and win. But, it is also good to teach that participation is more important than winning. The efforts put towards the result are also as important as the result and the parent is responsible to make the kid aware of it. Even if the outcomes are not favorable, the hard work put in to reach the result should be recognized and appreciated.
Walk the Talk
A parent needs to be careful with what he or she does and says when the kids are around. Kids are keen observers. They tend to grasp what the parent does as right and behave the same way later. They look up to them as role models as the parents are their first points of contact with the world around them. For example, if one tends to throw things in anger, the parent may as well expect his or her child to do so soon. Another common example is to check mobile phones often when they are around. Instead of attention, they may start demanding the mobile.
Therefore, ‘walk the talk’ and ‘talk the walk’. If not, it is possible that the vehicle gets steered in the wrong direction.
Treat them the way you want them to treat others
If a parent teaches manners to a kid, he or she needs to make sure to display the same towards the kid. One needs to learn to thank them for helping out or to say sorry when there is a mistake done. If the parent exhibits such manners to the kid himself, he learns its importance and displays the same courtesy to others too.
A kid also learns to understand that every person is different and their feelings are different. If a parent treats the feelings of the kid important, they also learn to respect others and their feelings.
Involve them During Decision Making
Treat the kids as important members of the family. Try to involve them while taking important decisions. As much as listening to them is important, talking to them about decisions taken at the household and informing them about them makes them feel important and seen. Moreover, some decisions also entail changes which may affect the kid. In such cases, it is always good to keep the kid in the know.
Be someone they can trust and depend on
Since the parent is a kid’s first point of contact to the world, he or she always tend to run to them for any help or need. Rather than a blunt negative, try to reason out with them why the reply is a negative or ask them why they need what they are asking for. Don’t make them fight for everything they want. Otherwise when the reply is really a no, they tend to fight that too, very unreasonably.
Help a kid to find safe, practical, reliable and respectful ways to get what they want in their life. A parent needs to make the kid develop his or her trust on them and make oneself his or her dependable go-to person.
Learn to Say No
Saying no is an art in itself. More so, when it is from a parent to the child. The parent needs to be conscious enough to differentiate when to nod the head and when to shake it. Essentially, the parent must not picture himself or herself as someone who the kid can take for granted.
Spend Time with Them
Lastly and more importantly, as said at the start of the article, it is essential that the parent spends some quality time with the kid daily. Play with them. Take them out. Take them for a walk or to a playground. Talk to them. Do any kind of activity with them. Kids are attention seekers. When they feel that that the adult they love the most spends time on them, they naturally feel loved and respected more. The feeling also gets reciprocated in tons.
The memories of a happy childhood last a lifetime. I still go back to those days when I am feeling down and need an upliftment. Hope you liked the article and felt nostalgic. Do leave your comments and let us know the tips you use to discipline your child without being too strict!
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