Many a time, parents attempt to live out their dreams through their children. They may consciously or unconsciously hope that their child fulfills all their broken dreams.
Parents often see their kids as an extension of themselves and feel proud once they see their children succeed. Such parents’ attitudes may have positive and negative consequences on their child’s development and well-being. It may even influence their kid’s mental health adversely.
As we explore the reasons for the parent’s unusual behaviour, we will also analyse the impact of such behaviour on kids and tips for parents.
Reasons for Parents’ Aspirations
Most parents believe that they are doing the best for their kids. Their parenting decisions are often competitive and tough for a kid.
They regret their childhood which often pushes them to put their dreams and aspirations onto their children. The reasons for their atypical behaviour are many and we can list some of them.
Unfulfilled Ambitions
Most often compelling circumstances have often made parents unable to pursue their ambitions, whether it is in the fields of academics, sports, arts, or professional careers. They often lament the loss of their childhood ambitions.
Under such circumstances, parents usually see their children as an opportunity to follow those dreams, hoping that their kids will be able to achieve the success that they were unable to attain. For many, it also means not making the same mistakes that they did.
Social Pressure
There is often a lot of pressure on parents to raise successful, accomplished kids.
To maintain respect in society, parents often try to channel their ambitions through their children, believing that their kids’ achievements will reflect positively on their status and reputation within their community.
Lure of Money
Lots of parents may have not been able to fulfil their financial aspirations by circumstances beyond their control.
They now try to look out for opportunities to fulfil their desires through their kids to secure financial stability in their own lives. They try to encourage their kids to pursue lucrative careers that would yield lots of money.
Impact of Parent’s Behaviour on Kids
Children have a separate identity of their own. When parents try to push their ambitions through their kids, it puts tremendous pressure on a child. The impact can be distressing and negative.
Lots of Stress and Anxiety
Kids are under immense pressure when they try to fulfill the expectations of their parents. It may lead to stress, worry, or a fear of failure.
As kids feel compelled and obliged to meet their parent’s hopes, they sometimes even have to sacrifice their passions and desires.
Loss of Individuality
A child’s individuality and independence are often overshadowed as parents attempt to fulfil dreams through their kids. They may be unable to pursue different hobbies and dreams that they love.
Sometimes, kids are pushed into activities or career paths chosen by their parents. It may lead to frustration in a child’s mind as he is not able to pursue his interests. The kid is unable to realize his potential as his talents are snuffed out. It may also obstruct his personal growth, self-exploration abilities, and developing his own unique identity.
Child’s Needs are Ignored
Child’s needs are often overlooked as parents attempt to fulfil their wishes through them. They fail to provide unconditional love and support to their kids.
For instance, parents may spank their children for not practising piano or humiliate their kids for not getting good grades in school. The child may feel suffocated as parents ignore his feelings.
Lack of Self-worth
As parents are unwilling to support their children to pursue their dreams, it may result in kids feeling a lack of self-efficacy.
Their emotional and intellectual growth may be stunted and kids may find it difficult to succeed as they grow. They may find it tough to make decisions without parents’ input.
Strain in Relationships
Most parents may feel that what they are doing is in a child’s best interest. They may use their kids to feel good about themselves and to gain acclaim or attention. The constant pressure may lead to strain in relationships between parents and the child.
Your child may also experience a sense of disappointment when he realizes that his parent’s motivations were driven solely by their unfulfilled dreams. The relentless expectations may make the child resent his parents and lead to a breakdown in communication.
Tips for Parents to Improve Their Relationships
Good parenting decisions can help raise confident children. It includes parents dealing with their own emotions in ways that help in the healthy development of their kids. Here are some good parenting strategies
Encouraging Independence
Parents can help their kids to explore their passions and interests. It will help in the personal fulfilment of the kid and provide him with a sense of self-identity.
By supporting his interests, as a parent you can help your child develop his individuality and raise him as a confident kid.
Effective Communication
Parents can encourage their kids to engage in honest conversations with them about their aspirations and motivations.
Such kind of transparency can help children understand their parents’ perspective and help them express their desires. Open lines of communication and a healthy dialogue also help in developing a mutual understanding.
Having Realistic Expectations From Kids
Parents can provide guidance and support selflessly to their kids without imposing their dreams on them.
By respecting and acknowledging their children’s goals, parents can strike a balance between their realistic expectations and supporting their kids to pursue their dreams while helping them develop a sense of responsibility.
Conclusion
Parents need to reflect on their parenting style and be honest with themselves. They need to be aware that their attitudes may harm their kid’s psyche in the long run.
To raise a happy successful kid, parents have to realise that they have to give unconditional love and support. Only then, the kids will be able to carve their own identity in today’s complex world.
