As much as we love our kids, we cannot deny that parenting is a daunting task! It requires a lot of patience. And in today’s world, patience is something we lose the most. And because of that, we go through a lot of parenting stress in our everyday lives.
I am sure all of us envision our lives filled with love and respect! I have heard parents often say how they wake up looking forward to a day that goes without any yelling and when issues get solved with mutual love and understanding. But as the day progresses, it gets difficult to manage everything without stress. Parenting stress is real and overwhelming! But do you want to drown in it?
It’s tough to write about parenting stress when I am facing it at the moment! But I did a lot of research, talked to fellow parents, and took some guidance from professionals that made things a little clearer! Let’s go through a few tips that helped me cope with the stress. I hope they will make your life a little easier and less stressful too!
Accepting that Perfect Parents Do Not Exist
As new parents, we often put high expectations on ourselves. We want everything to be perfect. So we stress about every little thing. We worry about whether our baby is feeding enough, sleeping enough, or gaining weight appropriately. We strain ourselves about whether we are giving our best. Even as kids grow up, our parental anxiety never really stops. We are always worried about the wellbeing of our kids. The only advice I have for parents is to relax. We don’t need to be perfect all the time. It’s okay if sometimes things fall behind. Also, things hardly go as expected. Children are unpredictable, and you can never foretell how the day will go on with your child. But if you are continuously striving about having the perfect day with your perfect children, all that you will receive is a huge disappointment.
Stop Expecting your Kid to Be Perfect
Just the way we expect a lot from ourselves, we also end up putting high expectations on our kids. One thing I have to keep reminding myself is that we need to let kids be kids. Expecting them to behave and to be “good” all the time means setting unrealistic expectations. Children at different stages of growing up go through a lot of emotional turmoil themselves. They have a lot of opinions and expectations as well. And trying to mold them to be “good” always will add to your stress. Let them throw tantrums and make mistakes! That is how they will learn to regulate emotions and to understand from right to wrong.
Work Together with Your Spouse to Handle Parenting Stress
Parenting has always been synonymous with mothers! Whenever we think about parenting, society tends to blame the mothers and put the burden on them to raise a child. I am not talking about the financial aspect but the nurturing and emotional involvement which is the most difficult part! Lives are not the same anymore! Earlier mothers had support in the form of an extended family or grandparents. Due to globalization, the family structure has reduced to just the parents and the kids! And in such a setting, most of the time, the entire burden falls on the mother. That itself is the biggest mistake! Parenting needs both parents in such a structure, and it requires the involvement of both the parents. Doing so will reduce the stress of parenthood to a great degree.
Stop Trying to Conform to the Norm
This is a pattern many of us parents follow! Our parenting style depends on the environment a lot. We might react to a specific incident differently while at home as compared to the outside world. It happens many times because we unconsciously try to conform to what the society says. Just because society expects the child to behave in a certain manner, we get agitated when our child doesn’t. That leads to added stress that again makes us have an outburst not appropriate for the wellbeing of our child. I was discussing this point with a dear friend of mine, Bula, who made me realize that many times our behavior in public is dictated by what other people will think. And this is an unhealthy behavior on our part. This approach will not only add to parenting stress but will also confuse the child about what our expectations are from them.
Take a Break from Your Kids to Deal with Parenting Stress
I am not saying to get rid of your duties! What I am trying to say is take some time out for yourselves. When things get too overwhelming, and you feel you will snap, just let the kids watch a movie or play some games. Leaving them to have some screen time is perfectly okay. Today, the internet and Youtube have a lot of educational programs. So, you can leave your kids sometimes with the TV or the laptop while you relax with a book or a cup of coffee. Unwinding yourself or taking a break is very necessary to manage the stress which might otherwise go overboard.
You may also want to read:
- Why Mothers Need Some ‘Me’ Time and How to Get it.
- Self-Care – Most Essential but Neglected Part of a Mom’s Life
Create a Support Group
Discussing and sharing your feelings and difficulties with other parents can do wonders. You can learn a lot from parents who have already gone through the stage you are facing now. Or you can also offer valuable guidance to younger parents than you. There are numerous parenting groups on social media today where you can get a lot of good advice and suggestions which will make your life easier. Also, the added stress of your career, illnesses in the family, or your mental health and physical health might put a lot of strain. Thus, it is necessary to have supportive people at hand who can help you through difficult times.
We, as parents, also learn and evolve along the journey of parenthood! And having some informative advice with us is always beneficial. I hope you found the article useful. Please leave your comments and let us know what you do to deal with the stress of parenting!
Rooms in Anaheim says
I am really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your
weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?
Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare to see a nice blog like this one
today.
Lavita says
Thanks!