You’ve heard it before: put your oxygen mask on before helping those around you. As a parent, this can feel challenging. Parents want to help their family thrive, and we often believe this requires putting aside our own needs. However, it’s vital to prioritize your health and well-being as a parent so you can be the best parent you can be.
This can be difficult on your own, so focusing on your health and well-being as a couple helps ensure the process is more successful. Valentine’s Day is a great time to team up with your love and prioritize yourselves so you can be present in your relationships.
Intentional Focus on Well-Being Reduces Burnout
Parenting is deeply rewarding, but it’s also hard work, and it’s easy to lose yourself a bit along the way. There’s always so much to do, and most often the kids’ needs come first. When you’re constantly giving and never replenishing, you’ll eventually run out of emotional, mental, and physical energy stores, leaving you burned out. This depletion leaves you more susceptible to
losing your temper, struggling to enjoy time with your family, and even getting sick more often.
It seems counterintuitive, but prioritizing your own health and well-being helps your stamina as a parent. Refilling your own stores allows you to give to your family, without leaving you empty.
You’ll be a better partner in your relationship, too. Working on self-care as a couple ensures both people get the restorative time and space they need to be their best selves.
8 Tips for Prioritizing Health and Well-Being as a Couple
These things can be done together as a couple, or alone. Either way, focusing on your well-being and overall health as a couple has myriad benefits for the entire family.
1. Ensure Your Basic Needs are Met
If you’re not eating properly, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, or fulfilling basic hygiene needs each day, you’ll begin to struggle pretty quickly. Sleep must be a priority, even for parents of newborns. Use thoughtful teamwork to make sure each parent gets the rest they need. It’s also vital to eat well-balanced meals and drink plenty of water to keep your body and mood stable.
Showering, brushing teeth, and getting dressed are surprisingly essential to mental health, too. Ensure these needs are met for you and your partner, even when you’re busy and exhausted.
2. Do Something Restorative Each Day
This doesn’t have to be something that takes a ton of time or effort. It could be spending
15 minutes reading, uninterrupted, in your favorite chair. It could be going for a walk.
Maybe it’s taking a bath or a quick shower. Perhaps 10 minutes of journaling before bed.
Whatever refills your bucket, make sure you each get time and space to do it (and
protect that time and space!) so you can restore your energy.
3. Get Some Exercise
Moving your body is important for your physical and mental health, whether you do it alone or together as a couple or a family. Try a family walk after dinner, or a family-friendly yoga class in the morning. Go hiking together on the weekends. If you’re feeling out of touch with your body, put on a sexy workout outfit and have a dance party in your living room.
Turn a park playdate into an opportunity for climbing and swinging and jumping yourself. Just get moving, and you’ll see how quickly it helps your well-being.
4. Accept Support and Help
Support comes in many forms. Perhaps it’s grandparents who come watch the kids so
you and your partner can have a date. It might be a friend who helps you cook extra
meals on the weekend. Maybe it’s paid support, including child care, house cleaners, or ordering pre-made meals. It may also mean going to therapy or scheduling time with a friend to talk. Whatever support is available to you, use it!
No one can do everything on their own, and parents who accept support and help without guilt or shame will be better for it.
5. Schedule Time as a Couple
Couples need quality time together, and that can be tough in your day-to-day life. Be
intentional about scheduling time to really focus on each other and your relationship.
Schedule a date night, or just take a 15 minute walk together. You’ll get along better, and you’ll be more attuned to each other so you’ll be a better parenting team, too.
6. Check in Frequently
First, check in with yourself often about how you’re doing and feeling. Rather than
beating yourself up about things, think about ways you’d like to do it better next time.
Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to your best friend. Allow yourself that same grace.
Second, check in frequently with your partner to see how they’re doing. Address
anything that needs to be addressed sooner, rather than later, to ensure your relationship and communication remain healthy.
7. Say No Sometimes
You are only one person and you cannot do all the things alone. Sometimes, you’ll have
to say no to things. You can say no because you’re too tired, or because you don’t want
to do the thing, or because it’s an unreasonable ask. Just remember to communicate your needs, and don’t feel guilty for setting limits and boundaries. You can do this together with your partner as well.
8. Celebrate the Small Joys
When things are hard or monotonous, it’s helpful to take note of the small joys. Did your kid say something cute? Write it down and text it to your partner or BFF. Did you see a beautiful flower or cute puppy on a walk? Really soak it in. Was your dinner a hit with
your teenager? Pat yourself on the back.
Taking notice of these small things can turn your day around and help you focus on the good, rather than the challenging.