As kids, we look forward to our parents’ support and advice. We expect them to selflessly care for us and fulfil our needs at every step. However, some adults may be emotionally underdeveloped and immature. They may have unresolved issues from the past and may not make ideal parents. If left unaddressed, they may continue to be rough on kids.
Emotionally immature parents may behave in certain ways that may be detrimental to kids. They may provide you with a safe home, a good education, and fulfil all your physical needs. But they may be unable to fulfil your emotional needs, and you may feel abandoned and insecure.
Neglect of emotional needs during childhood may be a painful and lonely experience. You may heal by understanding your parents’ emotional immaturity.
Qualities of an emotionally immature parent
Most of the time emotionally immature parents are unable to deal with their emotions healthily. They find it difficult to cope with stressful situations and are inept at handling conflicts.
Emotionally immature parents are unable to empathize with the emotions of others. They judge others easily but fail to observe their faults. They tend to be self-centered. Most often, they do not care about their children’s needs.
The reasons for being emotionally immature could be many. They may have unresolved traumas from the past, may have been subjected to early abuse, or grown up with rejecting parents. Another reason might also be hormonal imbalance. Most of the time, they are unable to evolve or heal from their past. Instead, they cling to their own childlike needs.
Usually, all emotionally immature parents create feelings of insecurity in their kids. They lack sensitivity. Their behaviour is inconsistent and unreliable, and they fail to instil trust in their kids.
It is not easy to live with emotionally stunted parents. Kids may have a traumatic experience and may suffer from mental health issues like bipolar disorder, low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression. It is usually seen in their behaviour, personality, and relationships as they grow up into adults.
Here are 4 types of emotionally immature parents and their possible impact on their children:
Driven Parents
Driven parents appear to be very normal and wonderful human beings to others. They are most often heavily involved in their kids’ life and control every aspect. These types of parents expect their kids to be perfect all the time. They do not easily forgive their mistakes and become angry if their kids do so.
Emotionally driven parents may be quite critical and demanding. They lack sympathy and don’t have a genuine emotional connection with their kids.
They hardly adapt to their children’s needs and want to raise successful kids at all costs and are often emotionally unavailable.
Usually, driven parents expect their kids to share the same values as they do without question. Furthermore, they force their kids to conform to what they think is the best for them. If their kids object, they will ignore, reject or punish them.
Often, kids raised by these parents tend to be perfectionists and overachievers. They become highly critical of themselves as they grow up and may try to seek justification from others to feel worthy.
Emotional Parents
Emotional parents are controlled by their feelings. They are moody and have a lot of emotional ups and downs while dealing with their kids. They overreact to situations and get upset easily. Sometimes, the entire family gets together to soothe them.
The home environment is often stressful. Their kids often have to deal with their unpredictable behaviour. At one moment, they could be happy and, in another minute, they could be throwing a tantrum. Kids have to deal with their volatile tempers as they hardly remain calm.
Emotional parents often need others to stabilize them. At times, they get overinvolved or appear cold and dismissive in a matter of seconds. Kids often need to soothe or support their parents’ emotional needs when they are upset.
Children raised in such an unpredictable environment often lack emotional security. As they become older, they feel highly anxious, depressed, or emotionally dysregulated.
Rejecting Parents
Rejecting parents don’t like to spend much time with their family. They have few interactions with family members that are formal and unfriendly. They could either be issuing commands, have heated arguments, or live in isolation from their kin.
Often, the rejecting parents have little tolerance or can be dismissive towards their child’s emotional needs. They are hardly involved in their children’s lives significantly and have little empathy.
They are in general not close to their children unless the kids are useful to them in some way. Kids usually end up feeling lonely.
Children growing up with such types of emotionally immature parents may have difficulty relating with people, including their romantic relationships.
Passive Parents
Most of the time, passive parents may appear as too cool or chill as a parent. They hardly care to give guidance or set boundaries for their kids. Their lack of concern may make the child feel neglected or exposed to unnecessary problems.
Passive parents are usually emotionally inaccessible. They are unable to have honest conversations or support their kids when required. Kids cannot rely on them in any way as they are unable to handle disturbing situations, conflict, or stress in any situation.
Children growing up in such an environment may have a lot of contempt for their parents. They may also have anger or shame towards themselves. They could also be prone to anxiety, depression, or other mental health problems in their life.
As kids, you can recognize the issue that your parents are suffering from. You can take the help of some trusted family members to have more productive communication with your parents. It will help you to remain positive in any situation.
Practicing meditation and deep breathing exercises will also help you a lot to destress and remain balanced emotionally.
Hope you found this article useful. Please leave your thoughts in the comments.
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